2.8% - the financial case

The current UK duty rate is £17.32/hl%

You'll recognise that first bit, it's 17 pounds and 32 great british pennies. The second bit (/hl%) is per hectolitre percent. That is, for every 100 litres at 1% abv, £17.32 is payable to the HMR&C (along with a further 20% in vat).

The duty payable on a hectolitre of 2.8% beer is therefore £48.496 (2.8 x 17.32).

There are almost precisely 176 pints in 100 litres, and so the duty, per pint, is 28 pence (48.496/176).

The on-trade works on a gross profit margin (%), typically around 50 to 60%. We'll take the lower end, because it's a nice easy number and we won't get accused of bigging it up. That means a publican doubles the price he pays before selling it to you (that might sound a lot, but it's his gross profit - he pays his rent, bills and wages out of that and is lucky to end up with 10%).

So, if the Chancellor decides to reduce the duty on beers not stronger than 2.8% to zero, we might expect a pint over the bar to be 56 pence cheaper as a result. Actually, taking vat into account we can add a further 11 pence saving to our pint, bringing the grand total to 67 pence.

If we say the average price of a low abv pint is £2.20 over the bar, under the bright new coalition future you may be paying as little as £1.53 (2.20-0.67).

Is that enough to tempt you?

It's a bit more complicated for us small brewers I'm afraid - directive 92/83/EEC, which allows for this reduced rate, appears to contain an anomaly that the UK treasury has interpreted as 'this does not apply to small brewers'. Fear not though, I'm going to the treas' next week and will seek clarification.

2.8% - worth the effort?

The treasury revealed the results of its review of alcohol taxation in the UK back in November, and they concluded that strong beer (7.5% and above) ought to attract a special extra duty rate, and that weak beer (2.8% and below) would benefit from a special lower duty rate. This will discourage winos, teenage preloaders and alcoholic middle class mothers from drinking evil, strong, craft beer and encourage sensible brewers, like me, to make beer that doesn't make you feel a bit squishy after your 2 daily pints.

The sceptics greeted this announcement with derision, citing Asda British Bitter as about the only brand at below 2.8%, and who admits to drinking that? A quick trawl through ratebeer.com seems to indicate that beers of such low abv are universally unpopular, amongst we geeks at any rate. Take Carlsberg (Sverige), for example, it has amassed a score of 2. That's 2 out of 100. One taster describes it as "quite nasty actually". There's plenty more underperformers too: Schwaben Brau Pilsner (RB score 3), Risingsbo 1856 (RB score 4) and Tuborg Pilsner (RB score 6) for starters.

Perhaps the cynics are right?

But wait, look here, Weltons appear to have fared better with Pride & Joy, a pale, hoppy little brew that scores a more respectable 36. And they're not alone, Harveys of Sussex weigh in with Sweet Sussex at 19, whilst Brew Wharf astonish the audience with ABC at a mighty 85, though, to be fair, it is 3% and therefore doesn't count. I'm reliably informed that Sapphire, from Thornbridge, was indeed a hoppy little wonder too but hasn't been 'rated' enough times to score.

Top rated appears to be Grassroots Den Lil IPA, a Danish offering notching up a huge 89 and attracting some reasonably complimentary comments.

So it appears that it is indeed possible to craft a tasty brew at sub 3%, but that it isn't done very often. Given the coalition's encouragement, I think I'd like to have a go myself. The challenge is, therefore, to brew a 2.8%er, get enough ratings to score on RB and finally, dreamily, to beat Grassroots and be king of the low abv brigade.

As it happens I'm teaming up with my mate James at Wantsum and my two mates in the local CAMRA branch to collaborate on this project in time for Planet Thanet Easter Ale Festival. So, that's where you'll find the beer, and that's where you can let us know what a dreadful waste of time it is, or not.

Right, time for a double IPA I think.

*(It was decided to ignore the fact that the strongest beers are weaker than the weakest spirits and wines, possibly because the SWA send out free bottles of top quality malt whisky to key decision makers whilst its members sell industrial white spirits, at great profit, to kids and tramps. Maybe.)

Bock!

Do you remember that we brewed a dunkele bock back in December? You do? Well, after a lengthy lagering period at sub zero temperatures, followed by cask conditioning, the beer is finally ready to drink. Our resident German Bier Prinzessin dropped by today to assess our work and I'm pleased, and relieved, to report that it was declared ausgezeichnet.

It's very dark with a tight, light tan head and an aroma of aromatic and roasted malts. Grassy, spicy Saaz hops hit the palate, linger for a while before giving way to a rich, satisfying maltiness that dissipates slowly. Just as you think it's all over a feint sweetness tickles the tongue, inviting you back for more. It's indubitably Teutonic and reminds me of dirndls, which is dangerous.

And it's out on sale direct from the brewery, and in all East Kent pubs of discerning bent.