Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Bare faced cheek!

You may not know that every brewery in the country receives dozens of requests for paraphernalia every week, but they do. People collect not only beer mats but bottle tops, labels, badges, towels, umbrellas and anything else with the company logo on it. Such is the volume of these pleas that, were we to accede to them all, we'd have no time left for brewing and no money left to run the business.

Thus, it is only in rare circumstance that I reply, I'm afraid. However, I'm tempted by the sheer over the top audacity of the below application:

Good afternoon. I am the director of the company "Beer na ves' mir" in Russia. My name is Arthur ******. At on 11/10/2010 in Moscow there was a beer festival. One man allowed to all to try your drink. I and my assistant have been very surprised, at your beer very unusual and pleasant taste. I would like to have your beer in the menu of my restaurants. Accept to me please your advertising materials, a price sheet for 2010-2011. And there are some souvenirs for our visitors.... Ball pens, supports under glasses, samples of covers from bottles, keychains, notebooks with your symbolics. We have a tradition to give to their good clients. Big to you thanks. I hope that we will co- operate with you. Our legal address: Russia, ******, Moscow, st. Volgogradskiy prospect ***-*-** Always with you: Arthur ******

Name and address supplied, but not revealed (for my own personal health).


Mark said...

Generous of him to share his excellent merchandise ideas. I don't think it would be cheeky for you to use them at all!

If you do get any "supports under glasses" made up, can you let me know?

Big to you thanks,

Russ Pope said...

I assume when he says notebooks he's referring to the old fashioned use of the work - i.e. a pad for writing notes in and not the latest techy gadget.

Don't worry about the merchandise - just give me some free beer! ;)

Jo said...

But are your beer mats as good as these?

Jo said...

And with a clickable link, damn those plain text editors.

crownbrewerstu said...

I had the same email the other day, I just send user to spam.

FyneJamie said...

Yup - just deleted the same mail from my spam folder. More imaginative than most though!

Planty said...

is nice..my wife who is my sister, she say you the best in the britain. me too would like to sample free beer and kaychain thnak you please.

Brock said...

I bet you've never had a Russian restaurateur groping blindly for your symbolics before.

I think it's time to brew one of those popular 'imperial stouts' and adorn the label with the legend 'very unusual and pleasant taste'.

Eddie said...

Ooops, I've been inundated with label spam since I posted this!